Happy Valentines Day, Democrats, Trump and Everyone Else

 

   Trump has nicknames for all his enemies - Crooked Hillary, Mini Mike, Sleepy Joe, Crazy Nancy, Little Rocket Man, etc. Isn’t it time to name him? Kids, especially Irish and Black kids, had a game when I was growing up in the Bronx - snapping, playing the eights - word wars where each party would try their best to totally enrage their competition. Whoever lost their temper lost the game. Many nicknames came from these battles. I was very good at the game, but it has been mostly washed out of me after becoming a teacher. The first two things I gave up were chewing gum and my natural inclination to insult any adult or student that even slightly irked me. My nickname growing up was Silky because I was incredibly blunt. Oh, how I have changed. As I excavate my former self, I ask what nickname would I use on Trump? Lest you think I’m picking on Trump, be aware that he has been playing this game with no competition since day one.

    There are the usual names that reference appearance or its opposite. For example, one could call him Fatty or Skinny. Simple, but not adequate enough to enrage. So let’s pick out examples from the players appearance. Trump has a very large posterior. Fat Ass Trump? Not bad. Trump’s hair looks very wispy - Cotton Candy Trump? Not good enough. Trump has man boobs - Tits Trump? Better. Trump has small delicate hands - Lady Fingers Trump? Getting there.
 
    Now we have to look at the things that upset him most. Tax Return Trump? Good. Millionaire Trump? Very good. Bone Spurs Trump? So -so. Trump cheats at everything. Honest Trump? Lyin’ Trump? Trump claims to be a stable genius. Einstein Trump? Stable Trump? Trump claims to resemble Elvis (!) - Elvis Trump? No. Trump seems coked up a lot - he’s definitely on something, some claim pseudoephedrine, (perfectly legal and used to make crystal meth).  Pseudoephedrine Trump? Sudafed Trump?  Tweakin Trump?

    Now let’s look at his behavior. He judges everyone, reads nothing, has the maturity of s two year old, holds grudges, hates Mexicans, claims to be a Christian and never shuts up. Judge Judy Trump? No, Judy would get upset - she just endorsed Bloomberg 🤮. Encyclopedia Trump? It’s ok. Toddler Trump - I have a certain fondness for this one ( I’ve been using it). Don Juan Trump - no he’d like that one. El Gordo Trump? Nah. How about St. Trump? I wouldn’t want to insult the real saints. How about ‘The Mouth’? Chatty Katty?

     Well, what would you name him? I suggest the Democratic Party take a poll and start playing the game, if they want even a chance of winning. Happy Valentines to everyone, especially Don Juan Trump - he needs some real love.