Christmas Greetings

 

Dear Retirees,

Another Christmas has reared its greedy horned head. You retirees really have no idea how lucky you are. On my way into 55 Broadway this morning, I passed 10 homeless people looking for money (you can rest assured several of them were your graduates). Unfortunately, I don’t carry cash anymore as I have to walk one block from my parking garage to 55 and, in addition to the hobos, there were quite a few scary looking rif raf (also recent graduates, I’m sure). But, I did have a pocket full of Hershey’s kisses and I put one delicious morsel in each hat and got ten FUs! Where’s the love? Now you old guys and gals need to realize that at any moment, you could be hobo number 11. And by that I mean the city is broke. You signed into contract an agreement to save the city an enormous amount of money via unspecified health care savings. My shapely ass is on the line. Now your wrinkly butts are reneging on my deal! What do you expect me to do? Smile? I don’t think so. You old timers need to remember who’s boss here. It’s me! Michael Mulgrew. Say it once, say it twice, say it three times - then spin around three times and spit! Call as many people as you like, have a holiday phone in session, start endlessly circling my block of 55 Broadway like those crazy sheep - I don’t care! All you’ll do is screw your younger brothers and sisters who are in the minefields with the rats. You remember those days don’t you? Don’t they deserve some of your so-called solidarity this Christmas? I guess you don’t think so - well I’ll tell you what I’m going to do - I’m going to remove everyone’s healthcare. Now those 30 year olds certainly seem to be in a lot better shape than most of you old farts, even with your greatly reduced UFT sponsored gym memberships. But seriously, how long can you go with that bulging hemorrhoid? Or those old chompers falling out every time you take a bite out of your Big Mac? Not long, I’ll tell you that! I give you a month before you’ll agree to anything, and I mean anything I ask. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna ask for much - just what you already agreed to. So you take Medicare Advantage and you have to call before you get that hemorrhoid out. What’s the big deal? And you’ll get plenty of other stuff in the next contract, as long as you understand that nothing is for free and anything that you want will have to be negotiated for. These are tough times and we are at war with Russia. That’s right we are.

Tonight remember to thank G-d that I, Joe Biden and Mayor Adams have only your best interests at hand, heart and head.

So this holiday season forgo your Christmas greed, listen to your beloved UFT president and remember life is short - especially without healthcare.

In Peace, Love and Solitude,

Michael Mulgrew