Sunday, June 23, 2024

Randi Flies In 🧹


Randi is sitting at home, thinking about Mulgrew and vigorously chopping a small carrot for a salad, when she gets the call that Unity has lost the election! 

Randi: Well, well… Thanks for the info, babe - stay gorgeous and charter a plane for me immediately to New York City. 

Randi is met at the airport by Michael Mulgrew - looking completely terrified. 


Mulgrew: Randi, you look marvelous. You get younger with each passing day. How are you?

Randi: How do you think, you fu•king Putz?! I hand the reins over to you and ask you to do nothing - absolutely nothing without checking with me first and this is what you do?! Well, I’m gonna tell you how I’m doing. But first turn around and bend over. ( Mulgrew does as he’s told. She proceeds to land a hardy kick that would make any SuperBowl kicker proud.) Now I’m feeling much better in answer to your question. 

Mulgrew: You’ve got to help me, Randi!!  How can I fix this?

Randi: Don’t worry - I’m here now. Let’s get back to your office and you’re going to write a letter. A letter to assuage all the retirees that you have insulted, lied to and betrayed. You’ve got to make them feel like you’ve always been working in their best interests - but don’t make it too obvious. 

Mulgrew: Easily done! They believe everything I tell them. But Randi, Adams won’t like that - I’ve made assurances! 

Randi: The retirees have seen through you like an empty glass bottle. AND I don’t give a flying fu•k about your assurances - you write that letter and you get it out NOW!  

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Disclaimer:
Stories herein containing unnamed or invented characters are works of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.