Sunday, November 20, 2016
Trump: Ivanka, how the f-ck am I going to stop the media from attacking me over all this fraud nonsense? 25 million! What else do they want? They need to shut up!
Ivanka: Dad, just wait and give them something else to talk about. Then Tweet about it.
Trump: Thanks. You're right. Twitter is the best thing invented since I invented the red power tie - and I was nice enough to give Mike Wallace credit for it. I'd be lost without you honey, I wish I could have you as my VP. I'm surrounded by idiots. Where is Pence?
Ivanka: Thanks, Dad. He's gone to some musical. I have to get back to finding you a Secretary of Education. Just stay in today and interview a few people for maids and cabinet posts.
Trump: I couldn't leave if I wanted to. DeBlasio's got a bullhorn downstairs and a thousand dancing liberals.
Ivanka: Well, just stay in and watch some Celebrity Apprentice - that always cheers you up. I'll check on you later.
Later that evening, the news breaks that Pence is publicly chastised by a cast member at Hamilton. Trump falls off his plush golden couch when he hears it. He races to his Twitter account and demands an apology. The media is all over it. Trump smiles to himself .