A Nervous Reptilian Smile and a Pocahontas War Cry

    The Lowlights and Lowlifes of Last Night’s Debates

    I was  mesmerized by last night’s Democratic debate. It was meant subliminally to be a catharsis - a purification of sorts. Burn off the impurities and have a golden idol worthy of American hero worship and the American presidency. The problem was after all that burning, all that was left were ashes and a little smoldering lump of coal.

    The fake Indian drew on her Viking blood last night and became a desperate berserker. She aimed her double headed ax of a tongue right at Bloomy’s jugular. Every ATR in NYC was entranced as if a fleet of UFOs landed on the Great Lawn of Central Park. She made my month, maybe my year. There was a part of me that felt sorry for old Bloomy. And honestly what ATR hasn’t thought of a certain ‘horse faced lesbian’ while trying to dodge heavy projectiles aimed at our heads? But I transgress. Pokey then took out Thor’s sledgehammer and hammered, what was left of Mike, over Stop and Frisk. She then handed off  Mjölnir to each and every eager participant. That was that. Was Bloomy done? It sure looked like it.

   They then took turns accusing Bloomy of the sin of being wealthy. This allowed him to accuse them of the same sin. Old Sleepy Joe woke up like he was jolted by an electric shock and said he make some money selling a book about his son. (‘Hunter Biden’s Guidebook to Hookers and Blow’ ?) Bloomy was staggering to his feet. He took aim at Bernie and called him ( prepare yourself) ‘a Communist’! They then turned their weapons on Bernie. Bernie handled himself well, but I found Buttigieg most repulsive. He enthusiastically joined in on the blood bath,  until the moderator referenced an essay he wrote glowingly endorsing Bernie‘s policies.  Two faced Buttigieg was momentarily caught off guard and did a little soft shoe.

   It was now time to heap the wrath of all Mexicans onto Amy Klobuchar. What perchance had she done? Build a wall? No. Stop immigration? No. Subject the Mexican people to foreign control? No. She forgot the Mexican President’s name. Well she was slowly and precisely flayed by Buttigieg as if she was the embodiment of Cortez the Killer. He wouldn’t let up. Sleepy Joe and Warren, to their credit, stopped it - at which time Buttigieg exchanged compliments with the Mexican moderator in perfect Spanish.

   Now for the aforementioned smoldering coal - Amy Klobuchar. She continually handled herself with grace and dignity. The night belonged to her.

   Not once was education mentioned by any of the candidates. President Trump and his policies were largely ignored, but he was referenced as an existential threat. I assure you he is much more than that. The entire debate has moved the odds of Trump’s re-election into to 90th percentile. A sorry spectacle  for a dying party.