Saturday, February 7, 2015

Lesson Three - A Scene From the Teachers Lounge

New ATR, Atlas (circa 2012) : (entering teachers lounge, three teachers present- 25 year old newbie, 60 year old newbie, 10 year ATR) "Good morning everyone."

All: (in unison) "Good morning! Who are you?"

Atlas: " I'm Atlas, an ATR."

25 year old newbie: " Oh, you look like that actor who died recently, Patrick something. What's your favorite movie?

Atlas: " I love High School High with Jon Lovitz. What your favorite movie and what's your name by the way?"

25 year old newbie: " Call me Sharon. Basic Instinct is my favorite movie."

60 year old newbie: "You know what I find disgusting? Middle aged men flirting with girls young enough to be their daughters!"

Atlas: "I'm surprised you're not an ATR. How long have you been teaching and what's your name?"

60 year old newbie: " I'm Rosie Parker, but you may call me Ms. Parker. I've been teaching 3 years."

Atlas: "Do you enjoy teaching?"

Ms. Parker: "Of course. The schools only hire the best. This may be hard for you to believe, but I'm 60 years old. Most people think I'm 30." (She looks about 80.)

Atlas: " Well I have 3 masters degrees. I have a Who's Who in teaching for 10 years in a row and I can't get an interview. So I guess you can retire when your 77, if you want to put 20 years in?"

Ms. Parker: "You ATRs are soooo lucky." She gives Atlas a hateful glare, gets up and leaves.

10 year ATR: "Hi, I'm Berly Stess. I've been an ATR for 10 years and don't feel very lucky. (Then in machine gun English fires off an astonishing number of questions, many very personal.) How long have you been an ATR? Where have you been? Who's your ATR supervisor? Did you have a bowel movement today? I only ask because I've been here for 2 months and haven't got a bathroom key. Do you drive in? Do you like the new rotation? Would you prefer to be teaching?" (Ms. Parker re- enters the room, hanging on every word.)

Atlas: (Doesn't respond for several seconds; recognizing the minefield that has just presented itself.)
"I love teaching and miss it. I don't have a restroom key, ethier."

Sharon: "I'll show you where it is and open the door for you."

Atlas: (Thinking, I have to get the hell out of here, but not like this!) "Thank you, but I don't have to go." ( Ms. Parker looks like a cat ready to pounce on a bird.)

Beryl: (Looking like she's going to cry.) "I'm a great teacher. I was excessed 10 years ago and no one will hire me. Let me show you some of my art work."

Atlas: Looking over the artwork - "It's beautiful, really."
(Beryl runs out of the room crying with Ms. Parker running after her.)

Sharon: "What was that all about?"

An unknown lady enters the room and asks, "What the hell is going on in here?" "You disgusting ATRs come to my school and upset my staff!?" "This room is filthy! Get a mop, Mr. ATR and mop it!"
(Beryl and Ms. Parker re-enter the room.)

Beryl: "He didn't do anything, I'll mop the floor."

Unknown lady: "Good, but that won't be nessasary. Mr ATR can do it."

Atlas: (Getting up to leave, vowing to himself never to return.) "Sorry, but I have 5 periods in row and the bell's about to ring."

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Stories herein containing unnamed or invented characters are works of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.