Sunday, July 17, 2016
Does Hillary Still have the Cheese Touch?
Hillary: "There's absolutely nothing on TV! Sanders and Trump are on every news channel. Find something for me to watch to get my mind off these two clowns!"
Bill: "OK, Hill. Here's a funny movie called, Diary of a Wimpy Kid."
Hillary: "Thanks, Bill. I need some time alone."
Bill: "I understand honey. I'm going to bed."
(Hillary turns on the movie just as the cheese touch is explained. Any kid who touches a fossilized piece of cheese in their school playground or is touched by someone who has, is doomed to be shunned. She thinks to herself, Obama must have given it to me!)
Hillary: "Help! I'm going to lose this fu-king election!"
(Out of thin air Randi Weingarten appears.)
Hillary: "How and what's in it for you?"
Randi: "Nothing, I just want a great female leader in the White House!"
Hillary: "Yeah, right! And how are you going to do that?!"
Randi: "I'll endorse you tomorrow in my official capacity as AFT president!
Hillary: "Sounds good, Randi. If you can get those teachers behind me you can have any position in the House!
(Bill awakens from a sound sleep at the words "any position" accompanied with an unfamiliar female voice and decides he's dreaming and goes back to sleep.)
Randi: "It'll work! Don't worry. Goodnight." She then disappears in a puff of smoke.
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Setting: Same night, hotel room in Kentucky. Bernie is in his pajamas watching TV. He finds a movie, The Diary of a Wimpy Kid. While watching the cheese touch explanation he thinks to himself, I have the cheese touch!
Bernie: "Help! I'm going to lose this election!"
(Out of thin air Randi appears.)
Randi: "Don't worry Bernie! I'm here to help and I'll win you the election!"
Randi: "Kiss your tuckus, goodbye!" She then disappears in a puff of smoke.