Sunday, July 17, 2016

Does Hillary Still have the Cheese Touch?

Setting: Clinton living room, Chappaqua, NY ; Late June 2015. Hillary and Bill are enjoying a rare evening home watching TV.

Hillary: "There's absolutely nothing on TV! Sanders and Trump are on every news channel. Find something for me to watch to get my mind off these two clowns!"
Bill: "OK, Hill. Here's a funny movie called, Diary of a Wimpy Kid."
Hillary: "Thanks, Bill. I need some time alone."
Bill: "I understand honey. I'm going to bed."
(Hillary turns on the movie just as the cheese touch is explained. Any kid who touches a fossilized piece of cheese in their school playground or is touched by someone who has, is doomed to be shunned. She thinks to herself, Obama must have given it to me!)
Hillary: "Help! I'm going to lose this fu-king election!"
(Out of thin air Randi Weingarten appears.)
Randi: "Don't worry, Hill! I'm here to help. I'll cure the cheese touch curse and win you the election."
Hillary: "How and what's in it for you?"
Randi: "Nothing, I just want a great female leader in the White House!"
Hillary: "Yeah, right! And how are you going to do that?!"
Randi: "I'll endorse you tomorrow in my official capacity as AFT president!
Hillary: "Sounds good, Randi. If you can get those teachers behind me you can have any position in the House!
(Bill awakens from a sound sleep at the words "any position" accompanied with an unfamiliar female voice and decides he's dreaming and goes back to sleep.)
Randi: "It'll work! Don't worry. Goodnight." She then disappears in a puff of smoke.
            -----------------------------   ------------------- --------------------------
Setting: Same night, hotel room in Kentucky. Bernie is in his pajamas watching TV. He finds a movie, The Diary of a Wimpy Kid. While watching the cheese touch explanation he thinks to himself,  I have the cheese touch!

Bernie: "Help! I'm going to lose this election!"
(Out of thin air Randi appears.)
Randi: "Don't worry Bernie! I'm here to help and I'll win you the election!"
Bernie: "Get the f-ck out of here and never come back!"
Randi: "Kiss your tuckus, goodbye!" She then disappears in a puff of smoke.

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Stories herein containing unnamed or invented characters are works of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.