Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Who Won the First Debate? Rosie O'Donnell!

It's Rosie's fault!
   The debate went fairly well for both candidates. I felt Lester Holt showed bias against Trump, especially in bringing up the birther movement to counter Hillary's mea culpa over her private server - hoping to elicit an apology from the Trumpster to mitigate those vanished emails. Holt also hammered him over 'Stop and Frisk', saying it's been proven unconstitutional. Trump rightly answered it would have been overturned if deBlasio appealed it. Clinton answered NY City's numbers are way down without Stop and Frisk. Trump should have added those numbers are down statistically for a reason (and it's not because crime has gone down). She could have, at that point, brought up gun control.
    Overall, Clinton did well in not getting rattled. She wisely brought up his obvious bias towards women. Trump blamed it all on Rosie O'Donnell. Rosie, if he loses its because of you!

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Hillary vs. Donald - The End of the World Debates

   As most of you know tomorrow will be the first in a series of debates against the two best candidates our country could muster for the presidency of the United States. If you're a football fan and like to head to the nearest pub for Monday night football - forget about it - it's Hillary vs. Donald.
The anticipated audience is expected to beat the Super Bowl's. Don't look for Beyoncé to blow out the electricity at half time, but there should be plenty of fireworks. This is a snippet from my twisted imagination:

  Hillary takes the stage wearing a navy Trump University tee shirt. Upon reaching the podium she points to her shirt and there are loud boos from the audience.
   Trump takes the stage and blows a kiss to Gennifer Flowers (former Bill Clinton girlfriend) who is sitting in the front row.
    The moderator Don Rickles, flips a coin. It's tails, so Trump gets to speak first. Rickles tells them the rules - there are none, just start. Trump begins:

Trump: Well, they said it couldn't happen, but here I am! Hillary kiss my ass!

Hillary: You're a complete asshole and I'm going to demolish you faster than one of your bankrupt casinos.

Trump: Crooked Hillary, you couldn't even manage Bill and you want to run the country! I don't blame Bill, do you Gennifer?

Hillary knocks the podium over and begins to pummel the Donald. Her hands quickly take on an orange hue from his sprayed on tan. Then the unimaginable happens - she rips off Trump's hairpiece, sending it flying onto Gennifer's ample bosom. (The audience is shocked, realizing Trump has lied all along about his hair. It may be the turning point of the election.) Security finally breaks up the melee and the debate is over.

Don't forget to tune in, tomorrow night.

Friday, September 23, 2016

Andy and Atlas: A Conversation


             Andy: Atlas, you old fool, are you still working?

             Atlas : I am, are you?

             Andy: You know it, baby! Did you see my performance yesterday with the media?

             Atlas: Are you referring to your indignant diatribe against Anthony?

             Andy: That's right! Weiner's timing was wonderful! It detracted all the buzz and
                        buzzards from my associates' troubles.

              Atlas: Preet seems to have you in his sights, Andy.

              Andy: It'll never happen. I'm smarter than him, and as you've seen the only group more
                         gullible and less intelligent than teachers is the media.

              Atlas: What DO YOU you plan on doing with us?

              Andy: After deBlasio is Preeted and his reelection Preemted, I will give it all to Eva!

              Atlas: You really are diabolical.

              Andy: I'm really hurt, Atlas. This ATR business must be getting to you. You really
                         should be working for me. I'm much kinder than the DOE, and with Trump in
                         office you may need a fallout shelter, and I got the best one in the state!

              Atlas: Yes, the end of the world as we know it.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

What's it Like to be a Sub, Teacher or Student?

The NY Post has an interesting article http://nypost.com/2016/09/17/this-account-of-being-a-substitute-teacher-will-make-you-fear-for-our-future/ relating to a new book concerning what it's like to work as a substitute and teacher's helper. The incidental observations of what goes on in the classroom seems to fascinate and horrify. Neither I, nor any ATR in their right mind, have any interest in reading it - having lived and seen it ad neauseum for years. Perhaps Randi and Mike would be interested in a copy?

Who are You Going to Believe? Me or Your Lying Eyes!?

Mike says :  ATRs are at an all time low. - ( F-ck you, ATR and the walker you slid in on.)
                    School openings were smooth. - ( Ignore the rumors of massive vacancies.)
                    We're working hard to reduce class sizes. - (It can always be higher.)
                    No teacher should be developing scope, sequence or curriculum maps.(Wink,wink)
                    New teachers should be allowed to use the restrooms. (Let the ATRs use diapers.)
                    First graders should be suspended. (But not any other students.)
                    There are SAVE rooms to remove unruly students. ( I know there's at a least one.)
                    We all like raffles. So let's have one. (This is a heck of a fun job!)


Sunday, September 11, 2016

Message Sent and Delivered


     What is the universe trying to tell Mayor deBlasio, when, on the first day of school, a fifteen year old student brings a loaded gun into a school? A. This was a bizarre aberration; B. This was a ploy committed by an underage actor hired by the NY Post; C. This is a sign that there will be a terrible disaster if metal detectors are removed. After hearing the news, Mayor deBlasio said, "Our schools are getting safer and safer." How does a 29% decrease in school crime correlate to a 25% increase in school weapon confiscation? Taking metal detectors out of schools will certainly make the schools statistically safer, but do New Yorkers finally understand the illusion of statistics? I understand how the Mayor feels.  He must feel as I do - that it's revolting for kids to have to go through metal detectors to get into school, but that's what our society has devolved into. Safety has to come first.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

It's Labor Day Again

    As some of you may know this is the weekend I enter my annual US Open trance in preparation for the upcoming onslaught of the coming school year. This year I did something I have never done before - I actually went to the US Open. I drove to Flushing, Main Street, parked and took the train one stop. I got to the stadium early and hung out. Sitting way up high in Arthur Ashe stadium, I watched Serena. I felt a little strange being there. I knew Arthur from when I managed a video store during my college years. He was a very refined, polite person. At the time I didn't know how to play and knew nothing about tennis. One day someone I knew, who seemed awe struck, mentioned to me that he was a famous tennis player, but I didn't believe it. After graduating and moving on, I read of his health problems and was saddened by his death. Well Arthur, I finally got to your stadium. Sorry it wasn't sooner. It was great. Tennis has become popular with everyone, even former kids like me from the Bronx. Has anything else changed for me since last Labor Day weekend? I'm a year older and hopefully a little wiser. I'm grateful to God for my health and ability to support my family. I try not to take anything for granted. Enjoy your Labor Day, a day of rest and recognition.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Would you like to play ATR Russian Roulette?


    Last week several friends called to say there were 6 schools listed on SESIS. Some were concerned that those would be the only schools we would be rotated to for the semester or for the year. One friend told me only one school was decent; another was making out her last will and testament.  Since the sunsetting of the ATR agreement, we are supposed to go back to weekly rotations. There was another possibility, perhaps in some other dimension. ATRs used to get to pick one school out of 6 to stay for the entire year. ATR Russian Roulette, but at least you got to pick the school. I seriously doubt we would ever be given that amenity, therefore I believe it's back to whichever rotation is precieved as most uncomfortable. Have a wonderful year and focus on the important things in life.